Little Dib of Horrors
by Wandering Namekian
Summary: When a plant inside a box Dib steals from Zim causes Membrane to pay attention to him and the other kids to like him, Gaz and Zim realize that they must team up to right the universe and ruin Dib's life again, even if it means saving all of mankind. ZAGF.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Invader Zim_, if anything it owns me (the fact that I am spending my entire life this week working on this edit and my costume for InvaderCon proves this).

**Author's Note: **Okay, so this is a parallel of the musical/movie _Little Shop of Horrors_, as should be obvious from the title and summary. This was actually a gift I did for my best friend Jo a few years ago because she loves both Zim and Little Shop. The reason it took so long to get to you was because I originally wrote it as a script and just realized that I could convert it to present tense prose with very little effort. This script is already finished and I think I will post it all by the end of the week. Additionally, other scripts I have written will be converted soon, therefore I will probably be back on the Zim scene (assuming you guys still want me). Complete details about what will happen with my other stories that are not finished will be posted in my user account info in the next few weeks. Sorry I've been gone so long. I'd also like to give a shout-out to my friend and co-writer from way back, Invader Johnny, who is one of the reasons that I actually am back in the Zim fandom again. Thanks again, old friend.

Also, as I said this was originally a script, which is why it is in present tense, I usually only write in past, this is also why the writing style is less formal than it usually is. This is mostly about the situation and the dialogue. With that in mind. Please enjoy.

**Summary: **When a plant inside a box Dib steals from Zim causes Membrane to pay attention to him and the other kids to like him, Gaz and Zim realize that they must team up to right the universe and ruin Dib's life again, even if it means saving all of mankind in the process. ZAGF or ZAGA (Zim and Gaz Alliance).

**Little Dib of Horrors**

_**Prologue**_

**-Somewhere on Foodcortia-**

The scene opens to a few members of the Resisty sitting at a booth in a restaurant on Foodcortia that looks as if it hasn't been cleaned for the last three or so foodenings. The name of the restaurant, according to the sign is "Stoh's Rebellion Bar." The sign has a picture of the green alien from _Backseat Drivers_ _From Beyond the Stars _(hereafter referred to as Stoh) smiling and holding his thumb up.

The Vort Leader of the Resisty is sitting at the head of the table. "We need to launch our next attack against the Massive. I know last time didn't go so well, but it's time we gave it another shot. Does anyone have any ideas?"

Stoh waves his arms in the air excitedly. "I do! I do!"

The Vort Leader ignores him. "Does anyone _else_ have any ideas?"

No hands are raised, although many of the members of the Resisty look at each other.

The Vort Leader sighs. "Fine."

Stoh pulls out a box from under the table and opens it. Inside is a small plant. It has a vague resemblance to the Piranha Plant from the Mario games. "This."

The Vort leader looks simultaneously annoyed and unsurprised. "That's your idea? A plant?"

"It's an evil plant."

"That's horrible! You had us all assemble, risking detection and arrest, for _this_?"

Stoh smiles and nods.

The Vort Leader sighs again. "What are we supposed to do with it?"

Stoh's smile suddenly disappears. "Umm... I don't know."

The Vort Leader is outraged. "I thought you had a plan!"

Stoh shrugs.

Suddenly, one of the Resisty members seems to have an idea. "Why don't we send it to the Tallest? If it's an evil plant, I mean it'll hurt them, right?"

The Vort Leader looks relieved, even excited. "That's brilliant! Where's a mailbox?"

The same Resisty member points to large teleporter in the corner labeled "IRKEN POSTAL SERVICE."

The Vort Leader puts the plant back in the box, quickly writes "The Tallest, The Massive" on it and puts it in the teleporter. "The next phase of our resistance is complete!"

At that moment, a large group of fairly tall Irkens with taser sticks rush in. "Halt! You're all under arrest for conspiring to rebel against the Irken Empire."

The Vort Leader's eyes widen in panic. "Scramble!"

All the Resisty scatter in different directions. There is sure to be some ensuing chaos with some cool chase scenes involving the Resisty running from scary Irkens with tasers, ending in around half of the Resisty getting caught. Unfortunately, that has nothing whatsoever to do with this story, seeing as it's the plant we're interested in.

**-On the Bridge of the Massive- **

It's a normal day on the Massive. The Tallest are doing little to nothing productive: Red has a drink of some kind and Purple is eating a snack.

An Irken soldier walks up to them, holding a package. "Sirs! You have a package."

"Woo! A present! I wanna open it!" Purple snatches the package from the soldier and tears it open like a spoiled kid who got his Christmas present late. Red looks on, vaguely amused. Purple takes the plant out of the box. The look on his face goes from excited to one of horrified confusion.

Red's face has gone from amused to completely flat. "It's a plant."

"A really ugly plant." While Purple is distracted the plant bites his finger. He screams and yanks his finger out of its grasp. "Ah! The ugly plant just bit me!"

Red suddenly seems to realize that an unlabeled package sent to them from an unknown source might not be an offering to their incredible superiority. "Computer! Run a scan on the plant and tell us what it is."

A small scanner comes out of nowhere and circles the plant quickly. There are a few seconds of silence then a picture of the plant is displayed on the screen, and the computer begins to tell them about the plant. "A rare plant believed to be extinct, grown on Vort and a few nearby planets, not much is known about the details of its life. However, it is considered incredibly dangerous and should be destroyed or gotten rid of as soon as possible."

Red smiles evilly. "And I know just who to get rid of it to."

Purple also smiles and puts the plant back in the box. "Send it to Zim!"

_**End Prologue **_

The scene opens to a puppet theater and a badly made Zim puppet.

Purple moves the puppet and is doing a mocking version of Zim's voice as he speaks. "On the 23rd day of the month of September...the human race suddenly encountered a deadly threat to its very existence... And this terrifying enemy surfaced, as such enemies often do...in the seemingly most innocent and unlikely of places."

Suddenly a door opens and Red is standing in it. "What are you doing?"

Purple turns to look at Red and holds a puppet of what looks like a larger version of the plant out to him, smiling with that "you know you want to" look on his face. Red sighs and takes the puppet.

As the Tallest begin to play with their puppets, the package is sent through space on its way to earth. It lands on Zim's door, but he's busy in the kitchen, where GIR is forcing him to participate in a tea party. GIR is humming and dancing to the Tallests' song, despite being millions of miles away at the time.

**-Zim's House-**

Back on Earth, GIR is dancing as he goes around the table serving tea to Zim, a few stuffed animals and a live squirrel. He suddenly screams, "Look out!"

Zim looks around wildly. "What? Where?"

GIR shrugs and continues to dance. Zim looks around a for a few more seconds but seems secure and looks back with suspicion at the tea GIR has served him. Back outside, Dib springs up from under a flamingo, grabs the box, looks around and runs. The scene fades from Zim drinking tea, to the Tallest and their puppet show to Dib running back to his house with the box. A few minutes later, Zim gets up goes to the door, but Dib and the package are long gone. He shrugs and closes the door.

**-Membrane House-**

Dib closes the door behind him. "I stole it Gaz!"

Gaz looks up from the book she is reading. "Stole what Dib?"

"I don't know. But it's important! I know it is! I stole it from Zim's door. It's from his leaders!"

Gaz raises an eyebrow. "You intend to save the Earth though petty larceny?"

Dib sighs. "You just don't get it. I'm gonna go find out what's inside this box."

Dib runs upstairs and opens the box. "A plant? Oh well. Haha! Zim, I stole your plant! Hmm, guess that's what I'll call it."

He takes out a piece of cardboard and writes "Haha! Zim, I Stole Your Plant!" on it. A few minutes later there is a knock on the door. "Come in."

Membrane walks in. "Son? Where did you get that strange and interesting plant there? Never in all my experience have I seen anything like it before."

Dib seems shocked that his dad is genuinely interested in anything he has, and looks up at him to explain it. "Well, I was sneaking around Zim's house, looking for evidence that Zim's left lying around. That would, you know, prove he's an evil alien bent on world domination, because that's kind of my hobby. I didn't find any there, so I was just about to, head home. When suddenly— I heard this noise and looked up and there was something falling out of the sky really, really fast. So I took cover under one of Zim's weird lawn flamingos. It landed right on Zim's doorstep. It was a box. So when I went up to it, I saw that it was from his leaders. I knew it was part of his evil plan. So I took it and ran home. When I got home, I opened the box and this plant was inside."

Dib is silent for a moment as he returns from what has clearly been a trip into his own memories. "Anyway, that's what happened. Mmyup, just like that."

"Well, that's certainly an interesting story, son. But that plant really _is_ fascinating. It could be a big discovery. Ujnfortunately I don't have time to take care of it, since I have too much world-changing work to do. But I have faith in you, Dib. Don't let me down. I'll come check on the plant when a get a chance, it shouldn't be more than a couple of days. Finally, real science, I'm so proud of you son!"

Membrane leaves and Dib looks at the plant happily. As soon as the door shuts the plant turns black and wilts. Dib's face turns to one of complete despair and confusion. "No! You can't do this! I won't let you!"

Dib runs down the stairs and to the basement and runs back upstairs with a book entitled _So, You're Trying Not To Kill A Plant From Outer Space_. "I knew this book would come in handy!"

Dib spends an entire montage following diagrams in the book. At first they display normal things, like watering, misting and grow lights. However, as he progresses through the book they become more extreme. He tries exposing it to fire, electricity, an aquarium, and finally ends up going to the basement and coming back with a small device that creates a small snow storm over the plant. None of these things, however seem to work. Dib sighs and looks at the plant. "What do you want from me- Blood? I mean, it _is _the last suggestion in the book..."

He turns the page in the book and sure enough it has a person holding syringe full of blood and injecting it into the soil around a plant. "Fine, but this better work...

He bites his lip a bit, but puts his finger forward and purposefully pricks his finger on the plant, causing it to bleed. Immediately, the plant perks up, grabs it and sucks the blood from his finger. "Agh! Hey!" He sighs, morbidly resigned to what is now happening. "Fine, whatever, just grow for me now, alright?"

As soon as the plant is finished with his finger, it does indeed begin to grow.

Dib smiles and looks much happier. "Yeah! Alright! It's growing! Dad is going to be so proud of me!"

At that moment, a muffin hits him in the head, it is soon clear that Gaz is responsible, as she soon appears in the door. "Be quiet!" Gaz walks into his room.

Dib seems to forget the fact that she has just thrown a muffin at him. "Hey Gaz. Isn't this plant great? I mean maybe it wasn't Zim's next plan for world conquest, but Dad seems to like it." He smiles and looks at her. "Do you want to help me study it?"

Gaz seems frozen for a few moments, almost as if considering his offer. Suddenly she shakes herself and blinks. She glares at the plant for a second. She then steps forward and rips off a leaf menacingly. Dib's mouth drops open in horror.

Gaz's expression goes back to its normal one of apathy. "Uh, no. I don't think so."

She leaves his room and then goes down the stairs and out the door. Immediately the plant wilts again.

"Oh, come on!" He sighs. "Fine." Dib pricks his finger again and offers it to the plant, who takes it cheerfully.

**-Zim's House-**

Zim is standing in front of his computer screen. "I need a way of inflicting pain on the humans for my latest experiment."

GIR is behind him, watching a show about a child getting horrible dental work done to him. The child is screaming, while GIR giggles like a maniac.

"GIR! Turn that off! I'm trying to think of a way to torture people!" He looks up at the TV screen. "Stupid human filth television!" GIR looks sad and turns off the TV.

Immediately the Computer displays a large array of torture devices on it's screens. "Well, if I may make a suggestion, Master, I—"

Zim seems to be suddenly struck with an idea, although he is clearly unaware that he might have taken some sort of inspiration from GIR's program of choice. "That's it! Here on earth dentists are allowed to cause incredible amounts of pain as a part of their profession. If I disguise myself as a dentist, I'll be able torture the humans without being noticed."

The Computer seems a bit concerned with this latest plan. "But, sir, you have to have a degree to—"

"Nonsense! Computer, Dental tools! And disguise the living room as a dental office."

The Computer sighs audibly, despite the fact that, as a computer, it clearly doesn't have to breath. "Yes, sir."

A few minutes later we see Gaz walking up to Zim's house, there is a sign on the door that says "Free Dental Work." Gaz raises an eyebrow, but still walks into Zim's house. Inside, Zim is wearing his normal disguise with a white coat over it, there is also a dentist chair in the middle of the room. The walls are now white, and they have all sorts of weird pictures on them, such as Zim smiling with his thumbs up photoshopped into a picture of a kid with headgear, and a "this is what happens without dentists in the world" picture of unrealistically horrible teeth that don't even look human. He seems excited when the door opens, but when he realizes it's Gaz who's walked in he looks suspicious.

"What are _you_ doing here?"

Gaz doesn't answer him.

"What do you think you're doing? How dare you just walk into the house of Zim?" Zim seems confused by her actions, but is clearly annoyed. He doesn't, however, seem to be willing to do more than yell at her. Yet, her presence clearly makes him uncomfortable, as he doesn't understand it.

Gaz ignores him and walks into his kitchen and retrieves a soda from the fridge then comes back into the living room and sits down on the sofa.

"Hey! That's mine!"

After opening and taking a sip of her soda, she turns back to Zim. "Are you going to try to take it back?"

He glares at her. "What do you want?"

"I need to ask you something. But I can wait. This—" She nods at the dentist chair. "Should be interesting to watch. Do you have any popcorn?"

"Yeah, I think GIR— Wait, you want to watch your own people be tortured?"

"It's better than Mysterious Mysteries."

At that moment GIR walks into the room with a bag of popcorn.

Gaz raises an eyebrow. "Wow, I didn't even have to ask. I thought he was useless."

She takes the bag of popcorn from GIR, but discovers, upon reaching inside that the popcorn is unpopped. Gaz rolls her eyes and takes the bag back into the kitchen and puts it in the microwave to pop. While she's making popcorn, Zim's door opens and Keef walks in.

Keef smiles and waves at Zim. "Hey Zim! Your door was open again so I came in! I didn't know you were a dentist, this is going to be so much fun."

Zim, suddenly notices Keef and recoils in horror. "Agh! Keef! What are you doing here? I thought you were destroyed."

Keef laughs a bit. "Yeah, I was, but I got better."

Zim twitches a bit at the sound of Keef's voice. "Well, at any rate, I'm very busy, so you're going to have to leave."

"But I'm here for the free dental work."

Zim looks as if he's trying to figure out another reason for Keef to leave, but then he smiles evilly. "Of course. Just sit down."

Gaz walks back into the room with her popcorn.

Keef smiles at her. "Hi Gaz! Are you here for dental work too?"

Gaz is clearly disgusted at being spoken to by Keef, especially as he seems to know her name. "Uh, no."

"Oh well, more fun for me then!"

Gaz and Zim look at him confused for a few moments as a tray of very evil looking dental tools rises up from the floor. They're much more sinister than those used by normal human dentists. Many of them are not so cleverly disguised torture devices, some even have electricity running through them.

Keef looks up at Zim and smiles. "You don't need to use any gas or anything, I'm fine."

Again, Zim is a little confused, but ignores him, seeing as he wasn't planning on using any anesthetics anyway.

Keef continues to talk as Zim arms himself with dental-themed torture devices. "I remember when we were friends before, Zim. Do you remember that?"

Zim freezes on the spot for a moment at the memory. "Yes."

"I'm so happy that we're friends again Zim. We can finally have that party GIR and I were planning. Oh, and then we can go to the circus, and then we can go camping, and then—"

Zim turns back to him, brandishing one of the dental-themed torture devices. "Silence! Open your mouth so we can get this over with."

Zim proceeds to grab various tools and attempt to cause Keef intense pain. For anyone else, the pain would have been ridiculously unbearable. He's using spinning electrically charged dental tools, after all. Yet, Keef seems fine, happy even, as if he's enjoying it. The longer it goes on, devices Zim uses become more extreme and sinister, and both he and Gaz look more confused and concerned with the way the situation is going. Gaz looks anxious, the way she does when she watches Dib (or anyone else, really) play video games. Eventually, Zim pulls out an tool that looks like a circle with metal sharks teeth, pointy with serrated edges, it spins around like a chainsaw and has what seems to be a very strong electrical current running through it. After using this, Keef still looks cheerful. Zim stops, unsure of how to proceed.

"Wow Zim, this is really fun. Why are you stopping?"

Zim seems genuinely confused. "Doesn't that hurt?"

"Yeah, but it's fun!"

Zim twitches a bit.

At this point, Gaz seems to have reached her limit. Gaz leans forward on the couch a bit. "You're doing it wrong, Zim! Let me do it."

Keef turns to Gaz, smiling even more. "You're going to play with us too, Gaz? This is so much fun!"

Zim considers this for a moment, and seems to remember Gaz's abilities in this department. He smirks and hands the tool to her. She walks up to Keef and attempts to torture him as well. Truthfully, she is much better than Zim is, unfortunately, Keef only seems happier about it.

"Wow, you're even better at this than Zim."

Gaz stops, she looks disgusted but narrows her eyes and picks up a more few tools. Zim's eyes widen as he watches her work, even wincing a bit as she does a few more sinister things. Keef however is still unfazed.

"I've never had this much fun before. I'm so glad we're all friends now!"

Gaz stops again and recoils a bit in confusion and horror. Zim is also horrified. They exchange glances quickly. When Gaz speaks again, her voice is deadly calm. "Get out."

Keef looks a bit sad and confused. "What's wrong? I thought we were having fun."

The room begins to turn dark behind Gaz, as she has clearly had enough of this. "Get out, now."

Zim pulls Keef out of the chair and drags him to the door which Gaz opens.

"That was so much fun. I'm going to bring all the kids over and-"

Zim is also more than ready to get rid of Keef at this point. "Get out of my house!"

Together Zim and Gaz throw Keef out of the house with so much force that he lands beyond the wooden fence.

"Okay guys, see you later!" Keef waves cheerfully and skips off. Zim slams the door then reopens it quickly, grabs the "Free Dental Work" sign and closes it again. They both lean against the door for a few moments in shock and disgust.

"Computer! Change the living room back to normal!" The screen that was projecting the image of the dental office fades and disappears and the dental chair sinks into the floor.

Zim crumples up the sign in his hand and throws it to the ground. "That never happened."

Gaz nods in disgusted agreement.

GIR's voice suddenly comes in from the other room. "Yes it did! I taped it!"

Zim growls a bit. "That horrible robot."

Gaz gives an angry shudder, but doesn't respond.

Zim suddenly seems to remember that is weird that Gaz is in his house at all. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

Gaz is immediately back to normal. "It's Dib. That horrible plant he got from you. It tried to make me... not hate being around him." She is clearly disgusted by the very thought.

"Why would I give the Dib-pig a plant that does that?"

"He said he stole it from you. It was in a box on your door."

"That's weird, I don't remember ordering anything like that. GIR?"

GIR walks in from the other room and looks at Zim, confused. "I don't know. I'm gonna go play in the garbage!" With that, GIR runs outside.

Gaz ignores him and pulls out a leaf. "I ripped a leaf off of it, your computer can test it, right?"

"Of course. But we'll have to go down to the base if you want to do that."

Gaz is clearly annoyed that she's going to have to put anymore effort into this. "Alright."

They head over the the table in the corner, which lifts up and they take the elevator down to the base. They walk in front of Zim's large computer console.

Zim looks up at the screen. "Computer! I need—"

"Computer! Run a DNA test on this leaf and tell me everything you can about the plant it came from," Gaz says.

At first Zim shocked that Gaz is ordering his computer around, but after looking at her for a few moments decides not to say anything. A small box appears on the console and Gaz puts the leaf inside. The box disappears.

" Processing, processing. Processing complete! A rare plant believed to be extinct, grown on Vort and a few nearby planets, not much is known about the details of it's life. However, it is considered incredibly dangerous and should be destroyed or gotten rid of as soon as possible," the Computer answers.

"Anything else?"

"Insufficient data."

Gaz folds her arms impatiently. "That didn't tell me why it tried to make me like Dib. Isn't there some kind of super, Irken, inter-galactic plant database?

"Yes, but I'm not authorized to access any more information than what I just gave you."

"Does that mean we can't hack through it from here?"

"Negative. Currently there are too many firewalls for me to breakdown on my own. If you can hack through I can make sure we're not detected."

Gaz sighs. "Fine, it looks like I don't have a choice."

Zim looks at her, narrowing his eyes. "How do you expect to hack through a database that's written in Irken?"

"Your language isn't _that_ hard. I hacked through Tak's robot before. Besides, its in all your video games, which I've been playing. I mean I have to do _something_ when Dad makes me go with Dib to go 'alien-hunting.'"

Zim looks at the Computer. "Computer! I told you to lie and tell everyone I didn't have any video games!"

"It lied to me at first, but all of your interfaces look like video games, so it wasn't too hard to figure out. You obviously _play_ them, even if you're not very good."

"As if you could beat the mighty Zim!"

Gaz scoffs at him. "I've already beaten most of the games, which is further than you've gotten. You want to see my files? Go ahead, just _try_ not to delete them. Even you should be able to play a game without erasing all the data." She pulls a few memory cards out of her pockets and tosses them to Zim.

Zim's eyes narrow as he looks at the memory cards. "Hmm, a human beating my superior Irken games? We'll see about that."

Gaz rolls her eyes and looks up at the screen, which is displaying a screen of Irken text. "Whatever. Computer, give me a keyboard so I can start working."

"Yes, oh scary one!" A keyboard pops out of the console in front of her, and Gaz begins typing.

A few moments later she hits the enter button. "Done! Next" Another identical screen pops up and she begins to type again.

The scene changes between Gaz typing fervently through Irken lock-out programs, Zim running through the memory cards on his consoles, completely horrified to find that Gaz has beaten games that he had given up on long ago, GIR rolling and playing in the garbage and the Tallest who are playing with puppets. Purple still has the Zim puppet and Red the plant puppet, they laugh as the plant puppet eats the Zim puppet.

Then, it goes back to the Membrane house, including the events there in the montage. Dib feeds the plant his own blood, and it grows larger, eventually he moves it downstairs to the living room. Then kids from school and others, including newspaper reporters, begin to come and look at it. Dib is happy with all the attention, but the blood loss is clearly starting to affect him. We see him getting more and more tired, and his fingers are all wrapped in bandages. At the end of the montage, the scene goes back to Zim's house, where Gaz is getting through the final firewall.

"Finally finished. That was pretty intense for some plant data." She looks over at Zim, who is still looking distressed about the video games. "Hey Zim! I got through the programs! Stop freaking out about your games and get over here!"

Zim glares at her and walks back over.

Gaz looks back at the Computer. "Computer, more details on the plant."

"The plant is labeled at a high danger level. It feeds on blood and prefers the blood of sentient creatures. The more it eats the larger it becomes, eventually it will consume creatures whole. It usually chooses a keeper, who it will not hurt, but will use to lure others to it. Until the plant becomes independent, the keeper seems to live a charmed life, with many of his dreams coming true. No one is quite sure why. The plant has magnetic qualities, probably used to lure prey. These qualities often causes creatures on victimized planets to give it and the keeper attention and praise. Due to it's dangerous nature, the only ones who know anymore about it are the a few insane Vort scientists, most of which are now detained in Irken military research prisons."

Gaz seems a bit worried. "You mean, if we don't stop it, good things will happen to Dib?"

"Yes."

Zim suddenly seems to understand the seriousness of the situation. "That's horrible! We have to stop it!"

"Get your ship, let's go! Computer, while we're gone look for any other data or media you can find about the plant!"

"Yes, terrifying one!"

Zim calls out back into the base, "Come on, GIR, we have to go ruin Dib's life!"

GIR, who is somehow both back inside and completely clean, drops out of the ceiling and runs after Zim. "Woot! I like pork!"

They get on the elevator and speed out of the base.

**A/N:** Okay, well that's it for this chapter, let me know what you think and I'll post the next one. Also, I won't take _any_ arguments that question whether or not Gaz is capable of the things she is doing in this fic. She is _more_ than capable, if anything I have to wonder if I haven't _underpowered_ her, but the plant is also ridiculous (as it is in the original movie/musical), and if Gaz just killed it without any effort that would make the story boring. I love making her work with Zim, because it makes both of them so... well... perfect in every way, which is why this is happening.

And, keeping that in mind, please, read and review. I love you all.


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